Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
