He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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