Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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