Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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