Are we in a gay sports bar?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
