I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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