someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize