Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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