pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
