You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
