im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
