Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize