My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
