It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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