We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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