Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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