hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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