After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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