Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
