Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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