And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
And then he peed in my hair
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