I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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