So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
MIDGETS
????
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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