did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
