he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
