David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
