I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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