Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
