he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
