i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
