Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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