if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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