I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
