kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
