why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize