Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
