i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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