So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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