Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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