I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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