Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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