I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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