i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
