whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize