College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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