I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
