belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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