belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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