Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
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literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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