I wanna passion pit in your ass
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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