You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
