My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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