New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
