Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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