I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
